Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
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I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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