But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize