In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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