Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
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Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
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I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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