Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize