The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
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noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
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You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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