I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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