I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I think I won the penis lottery.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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