My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize