if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
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