How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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