My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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