i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize