Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
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I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
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I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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