he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
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She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
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candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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