I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize