I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize