I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
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Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
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I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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