at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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