East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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