drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
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Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
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The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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