nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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