i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Say something about gay babies.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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