Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
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A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
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You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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