i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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