Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
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can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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