I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
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Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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