Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
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He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
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Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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