Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
All I want is dick and wine.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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