i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
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Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
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There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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