You made me cry and you don't even care
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
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All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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