You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize