Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
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