This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize