but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize