If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize