so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
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I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
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its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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