He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize