the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize