There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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