Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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