you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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