yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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