Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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