Kiss
Puke
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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