I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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