She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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