I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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