There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
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I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
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So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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