Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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